Supermarket Scam
by thir13enth
Summary: The poor destitute god of calamity really wanted to have a snack from the grocery store, and he was going to attempt to get Hiyori to purchase it for him. Yatori.


**Written for a tumblr prompt, involving goldfish.**

 **I've been longing to write** ** _some_** **kind of Noragami piece since I got into it last year so I thought I'd take the chance to do that with this prompt, haha. We'll see where this goes.**

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Yato pushed his hands deeper into the pockets of his track jacket once again—becoming disappointed once he realized that there was not a scrap of yen in his clothing.

The god sighed loudly—not caring if there was a particularly astute human being in the grocery store near him that could hear his breathy complaint—looking longingly at the paper carton of fish-shaped cheese-flavored cracker snacks that he, given his very-empty pockets, could not afford.

He slumped a little bit, saddened that he had made a trip all the way to the local grocery store and only then realized that he probably didn't have enough money—or any money at all—to actually buy the crunchy snacks.

It was really Yukine's fault that he had gotten into these Goldfish snack things from the start. The adolescent boy had brought back three bags of the cheesy crackers last night, and despite Yato's initial reluctance to try the American-made food, the god quickly discovered that the imported snack was actually quite delectable—and so, the two of them devoured all three bags in lieu of a proper dinner.

But Yato had still not had his complete fix of Goldfish just yet.

And as he stared at the price outlined under the snack, subsequently cursing himself, he wondered what the hell he could have spent his last round of money on—before he remembered about the small pink pig trinket that was hanging at his belt.

Ah yes, he reminded himself. He had spent the last of his five-yen coins on a lucky pig charm _guaranteed_ give him great fortune in the next five years—as long as he committed to rubbing it on its butt the first thing he did when he woke up in the morning.

However, today was just day two of waking up and touching the plaster pig's ass, and the promise of fortune was not going to help him now when all he wanted were some American snacks.

But then Yato smelled a familiar flowery scent—and he realized that maybe the plastic pig's fortune may have actually come much earlier than intended.

It was Hiyori!

He ducked behind the grocery aisle, blue eyes intensely watching the high school student as she rounded the supermarket, leaning over a shopping cart.

He couldn't help but notice how cute she looked at the time, pushing the cart with her forearms, her hands holding up a small grocery list as her royal purple eyes scanned the list of items. Her mouth was in a pout—and Yato could immediately tell that it was her turn to buy the groceries for the house that week.

Surely she wouldn't mind if he just tucked in a small extra purchase for himself, right?

Yato grabbed the first carton of Goldfish he got his hands on, before stealthily following her as she moved her way to the produce section. He watched her pick and squeeze tomatoes, concentrating on finding the most perfect ones.

He waited for her to go over to the nearby weight scale before he tiptoed over and dropped the carton of Goldfish into her cart. He gave himself a pat on his back, congratulating himself for such a job well done, until Hiyori turned back around and immediately noticed that there was something in her shopping cart that she had not placed there herself.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she picked up the mysterious carton of Goldfish.

The god, standing off by the carrots, crossed his fingers, hoping she would keep the Goldfish in her cart, but he sighed heavily when she placed the Goldfish down on a nearby shelf and scooted her shopping cart along.

Hiyori continued on her grocery store trip, hunched over the shopping cart, the bottom hem of her uniform top just loose enough to give a particular god squatting under a crate of apples a tantalizing view of the fair skin underneath before he reached over to grab his carton of Goldfish back.

She stopped at the poultry section, putting her finger on her lip as she looked through the meat. As she bent over to grab a set of chicken thighs, he slipped the Goldfish once more into the cart and quickly darted behind the fish.

Hiyori swiveled around to place the chicken thighs she had selected into the cart, stepping back one when she saw the same Goldfish carton back in her cart. She carefully picked it up, this time looking around the store suspiciously—violet eyes intense—before she once again left the Goldfish on a nearby shelf.

Not good. He would probably have to tuck the Goldfish into her purchase closer to when she got to the check-out lane. That way there would be no chance for her to return the Goldfish!

The god of calamity grabbed the Goldfish that she had dropped off once more, deciding that he would keep his distance up until she got to paying for all the food.

He strolled casually behind her, ducking out of the way of other oblivious shoppers in the store. He admired the sway of her uniform around her hips—particularly grateful for how the grade two high school uniforms were shorter than the grade one uniforms.

Hiyori turned a corner—into the spices section—and Yato took a few seconds extra before taking the same turn, avoiding the risk of entering the aisle too early so that he would accidentally be noticed.

But then he turned into the spice aisle and saw no sign of the raven-haired high school girl.

His heart stopped.

Wait, where was she?

If he couldn't find her in time, he wasn't going to be able to get his fix of these fish-shaped cheese-flavored salty crackers!

He scurried along the line of the store, searching up and down to try to find raven-haired girl. He checked twice, running once more through the fresh produce, ensuring that she wasn't admiring the baked goods near the dessert section, and even opening all the refrigerated compartments to make sure that she hadn't accidentally gotten herself stuck one of the freezers.

But Hiyori was nowhere to be found.

Yato clutched the carton of Goldfish tightly in his hands. This was terrible! How else was he supposed to get to eat Goldfish tonight if Hiyori didn't purchase them for him?

"Are you looking for someone, Yato?" her voice asked behind him.

Oh, he was definitely in trouble.

His spine stiffened and his entire body braced, and he turned around slowly—ready to accept his doom.

And there was nothing the plaster pig at his hip could do to change his fate.

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 **Haha, oops. I went a bit over my word limit. Alas, I couldn't help myself.**

 **Well, so goes my first dip into the Noragami fandom! Whatcha think?**

 **thir13enth**


End file.
